Jailbreak!!!

I think this will be our last week of quarantine updates, because I’ve officially come to the end of the Internet and need to find something else to do. Summer is here…we are back to the season of easy living, where the pool counts as a bath, we stay up late and sleep in, eat lots of non-nutritious but very delicious food. Basically, exactly the same thing that’s been happening for the last 12 weeks.

But, there seems to be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Things are starting to open here a little bit and we couldn’t be happier for even the smallest resemblance of normal life. I hope we as a society get this right, because there’s nothing worse than going to your parole hearing full of hope and then getting thrown back in the clink. We’d be like that guy in The Shawshank Redemption. Except I’m not a murderer….yet. One more comment about my to-do list though….

Since this is my last quarantine check-in post, I wanted to take a minute to focus on the positive before I start the usual complaining recap. Without three months of INTENSE togetherness, I wouldn’t have had the time with my people to collect these stories and feed my soul by writing about it. Despite my tongue-in-cheek musings about how hard it’s all been, the truth of the matter is that I’ve loved having my peeps home. It’s not lost on me that their time with me is fleeting (fast) and so I haven’t totally hated it. Some days it’s 90% good, 10% bad, while there are certainly 50/50 and 1/99 days too. On the other hand, husband and I have another 40+ years together, so you can count on blog posts until the end of time.

Moving on…here are a few final quarantine stories from the trenches:

**On one especially challenging afternoon, my precious children played a game called “Things We Love To Do That Make Mom Really Mad.” Examples include “using the last of something and not writing it on the grocery list, blowing bubbles in your drink with your straw, asking her to make you something to eat and then not taking a single bite, or making huge messes minutes after she cleans the house.”

**I filled my car up with gas this week for the first time in a while. Prior to that, I was getting about 3 weeks to the gallon (I can’t take credit for that hilarious joke; John saw it on Facebook). But, it’s time for the Summer Super Shuttle to and from kid activities and that requires a full tank of gas, a LARGE fountain Diet Coke and a good book.

**My littlest person is still struggling with the amount of time we’re spending at home. I suspect she has a decent amount of her Grandma Jane in her and prefers to be on-the-go. At home, she doesn’t see the point in changing out of her pajamas or brushing her teeth, and frankly I can’t argue with her. She’s still little enough that she requires my 80% attention, especially because she is the absolute product of her father. (Everyone laughs at my expense). The following are a few Habanero-related stories for your amusement:

1. She is a fervent artist; we go through several rolls of Scotch Tape and a ream of paper a week. On a recent afternoon, she made us a “Slime Factory,” which was basically about 50 sheets of paper with various blob-looking drawings. Next to the drawings, she made an index for us to “understand” what she’d created. I think this part is especially true.

Breeding is hard but fun, and you never know when you’ll get something good or bad or ok. Preach it sister.

2. I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but at one point I said “Malory, trust me.” Her reply? “I don’t and that’s the problem.”

3. On another afternoon where were deep into a ream of paper, she asked for my phone to search for something on Google. Later, when I went to search for something myself, this was her search history:

Yes, I did think the bottom phrase was AGNOSTIC animals, and I was deeply concerned. Until I looked a little higher and saw that she is shopping for a Capybara to live in our home….cheap.

4. The girl can eat. She isn’t too picky and will eat most fruits and vegetables. Last Saturday morning she said to me “Since I had some grapes yesterday, can I have some chips?” The sad part is that I said she could because I really wanted some too.

In closing, I’m not sure if you’ve caught on to this yet, but we’ve been home A LOT. And eating A LOT. Menu planning for a family of five is daunting under normal circumstances. Add to that the constant barrage of “what are we having for dinner?” and it’s enough to send me over the edge. So, on the very first day of pseudo-freedom for me (Ladies Golf League with wine!!), this was the menu for the day:

Fend for yourselves peeps. I’m outta here.