Anti-Social Media

You guys. Our society is in a rough place. Our use of social media is out of hand. We don’t use it anymore as a place to connect with people. Instead we use it as a place to fight with people. It’s turned us into a bunch of impolite, intolerant assholes. WARNING: This is the part of the blog where I might get a little bit political, so if you are one of the aforementioned intolerant assholes, you can stop reading now and come back next week for one of my light-hearted posts about Kindergarten or Keto.

Facebook, Twitter and to a lesser extent Instagram have created a space where we behave in ways that we wouldn’t if we weren’t safely behind a computer screen, away from the ramifications of our words. You would never go to a cocktail party at someone’s house and start arguing with them out of nowhere. But, we’ll sure as shit do it on the Internet. Facebook used to be a benign platform for seeing your friends’ pictures, their adventures, their families. I loved it then. Today, I still love to keep up with people I don’t see often. I love that many of my girlfriends use it to successfully promote their businesses….but sadly those posts are few and far between. Sometime over the last handful of years, it’s morphed into a divided place of nastiness. A lot of people I know have left it for Instagram, because it’s less political, more pictures. Stay tuned though, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we ruin that too.

Social media has taken away the “live and let live” aspect of our society. It has taken the world’s problems and put them directly at our fingertips. Someone will put an idea or story out there that they believe in, and someone else will very quickly make it their mission to tell them they are wrong. We’ll go to great lengths to find information on the Internet that reinforces our point, while turning a blind eye to the opposite….like “if I don’t see it, it’s not true.”

Oftentimes, a simple post or sharing of a news article turns into an all-out war, especially in these divided political times. Because we are safely behind our phone screen or keyboard, we will say things that we wouldn’t EVER say face to face. There is no human interaction, no back and forth conversation where we are required to listen to the other person’s viewpoint in real time. Most often, people don’t even stop to read the comments of the other person….so intent they are on putting their opinion out there in a “So There!” way. No one stops to say….”Ok, I didn’t consider that” or “I didn’t think of it that way”

Feelings don’t get hurt if you can’t see them, right? Wrong.

You’ll notice that in the majority of my musings here, I’ve said “we.” Just because I am up on my enormous soap box giving a lecture doesn’t mean that I am immune to any of the bad behavior I’ve described here. I too find myself typing furious comments on political posts that I disagree with. But, with the exception of ONE time, I always erase them, get up and walk away. And, that one time, when I berated and shamed someone who didn’t know any better, I felt so bad and carried it around with me for days. Getting into a Facebook or Twitter debate with someone who thinks of things differently than you is never going to end well. Forcing your viewpoint down their throat in a series of comments isn’t going to change their mind. How many times does the other person say “Oh my gosh Julie, you’re absolutely right?” Never. Not going to happen.

I’ll say it again…Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms take people that we otherwise find lovely and make them into public enemy No. 1 over a topic that we wouldn’t even talk about over lunch or coffee. I have plenty of friends who think of current events differently than me, but we don’t walk up to each other with our fists up, ready to duke it out. So, I find it fascinating that when people that we love and call our closest friends say something on social media that we disagree with, we instantly turn on them. I am guilty of seeing a post from a long-time friend and thinking “WTAF? Who ARE you? Clearly not the person I thought you were.” But, if I ran into that same friend on the street, I’d give them a huge hug and listen with genuine interest after I ask how they are. THAT is disappointing.

Yesterday I saw a snippet on Instagram from “Tank’s Good News” (@Tank.Sinatra). He’s one of my favorites and if you don’t follow him, you should. He reports only good news stories and does his part to restore a little faith in humanity. In this particular IGTV segment, he talked about a recent Twitter feud between a celebrity and a man who disagreed with him. George (aka Tank) said something that really resonated with me. “Not everyone who disagrees with you is stupid, and not everyone who agrees with you is smart.” Should be the Golden Rule of responsible social media usage.

We could all stand to be a little bit more polite and a lot more tolerant. Use the manners and social graces that your parents taught you….no name calling, no interrupting, no yelling. Be Good People.

The End.