Crazy

It seems as if everyone is a little on edge these days, doesn’t it? Mass hysteria, panic shopping, obsessive use of bleach….we’ve gone a little CRAZY. So, for a little levity I’ve compiled this list of “Ways That My Family Likes To Toy With My Mental Health:” (It should be noted that this list has been in existence since LONG before any pandemic or forced togetherness. These are normal happenings around these parts)

*Taking their pants off inside out. What kind of savage does this? I’ll tell you…the kind that doesn’t do laundry.

*Turning on and leaving on EVERY SINGLE LIGHT in the house. Husband is the worst offender. It’s DAYTIME. Why do you need a light on?

*Leaving receipts/notes/general paper goods in their pockets. There’s nothing I love more than having to basically climb into the dryer to remove all of the little bits and pieces. It’s a known fact that if I find paper money, it’s mine.

*Not being ready to go even though I give them a 30, 10, 5 and 2 minute departure warning. Sometimes I’ll say “Ok, we have to get in the car right now” and one of them will look at me and say “I haven’t brushed my teeth.”

*Glasses in the sink. No one in my family is capable of using the same glass for the whole day. “Oh you had water in that cup? Better get a new one, it’s clearly filthy.”

*Using my purse as a garbage receptacle. If we are in a crowded public place like say the zoo or a sporting event, I’ll come home to find thousands of pieces of garbage in my bag. Even though we have passed no less than 35 garbage cans during our outing.

*Speaking of garbage, each of my family members plays a game called “How much garbage can I stuff into this tiny can?” Once it overflows onto the floor and the dogs eat the dirty Kleenexes, you’ve won.

Not to worry, I combat this barrage of ludicrous behavior by self-medicating with wine and cheese. Listen, everyone’s coping mechanisms are different and I must practice self-care during these trying times. Stay well everyone!