Lockdown

Well, here we are at the end of Lockdown Week 1, and I thought I’d update from the trenches if for no other reason than to document the downfall of my household in case things go awry. The following are a few things of note:

*Thoughts and prayers are needed for my husband. He’s working from home during this time of social distancing, and since he can’t boss people around at the office, he’s trying it on me. It’s not going to end well for one of us. Bets on who that is?

*I am a stay-at-home mom. I love having my children home. BUT, I am not cut out for homeschool. A couple of lessons we’ve learned this week are as follows:

1. The benefits of beer pong vs. quarters and the subsequent damage to mom’s dining room table.

2. How to properly fold a fitted sheet.

3. Lessons in Mixology: Cocktails for Mom and Dad.

*My salon called to reschedule my hair appointment from next week to after May 1. Very quickly, my family is going to see my real hair color.

*It’s taken me the better portion of a day to read the emails from every company I’ve ever done business with, detailing how they’re handling the COVID-19 pandemic. Some of them are worthwhile: Rollerland Skate Center, Walgreens, and King Soopers Click List? Good. J Crew, Crate and Barrel, Home Depot, Netflix? I don’t care.

*I’ve played a bargaining game with my neighborhood friends; it’s a little reminiscent of Survivor. How many rolls of toilet paper can I get for this box of wine? Yes, I said box. Things are intense and we are low on TP.

*I have become a short order cook. I make meals on demand. “Oh you don’t like the eggs and bacon I already made when you woke at TEN THIRTY? You want a grilled cheese? Eggs Benedict? Coq Au Vin? No problem.”

*Personal Hygiene has been a challenge. Toothbrushes are dry (I checked). When I did the laundry, there were many sets of pajamas and not nearly enough pairs of underwear. I’ll add it to next week’s homeschool agenda because gross.

*Little child told me I could use my bra as a personal protective mask since the medical ones are in short supply. After I finished crying and laughing, I applauded her ingenuity. She gets an A for homeschool this week.

In all seriousness, I hope everyone is hanging in there. Stay well, enjoy your family, laugh a lot, worry less and know that we’re going to be ok. Comment and give me some of your best lockdown stories because we’re all in this together and laughter is the best medicine:-)