Lockdown: Week…does it even matter?

Listen, I am back to bullet points this week because, well….leave me alone. None of the rules of normal society apply anymore.

**Let’s start the week with a bright spot moment, shall we? There has been a dramatic reduction in laundry services here at the homestead; with our reduced hygiene habits and pajama day every day, the normal 11 loads have dwindled to two. It’s like when you go on a tropical beach vacation and wear only swimsuits for a week. Except in this scenario, there are no swimsuits, and no one is bringing me a boozy umbrella drink. Strike 3 for John?

**Between the homeschooling and various other tasks, I spent a lot of time in front of my computer working this week. Nordstrom really needed my attention for a “survey.” Anyway, I had to change the font on my computer to a 16 because I couldn’t see the 12 anymore without getting inches from the screen. And if that isn’t a kick you while you’re down scenario, I don’t know what is.

**Teenager has taken to communicating with us via Google Translate in Spanish. It’s been years since my last Spanish class, but I am fairly certain I was insulted by some automated lady I don’t even know. “Si quieres comer esta semana, te disculparas pronto.”

**After last week’s post, my second grade teacher requested some stories of the math and science curriculum from the week. Margie, here are a couple of math problems we worked on: If you own 8 pairs of shoes and none of them are in your closet, how many shoes will mom trip over while doing laundry? OR, if there are 6 empty bags of chips on the couch, how many more can we add before mom loses her cool, and is that number inversely proportional to the amount of wine she’s had?

**For the entertainment portion of the week, we had to get really creative with the family activities since we’ve watched every show there is and we CANNOT bake one more dessert item. So, for fun I clipped everyone’s toenails, and that was all of Wednesday.

**This would have been Masters week, which is almost a religious event around our house. But, since there’s no golf to be had, husband has been frantically searching the hundreds of ESPN channels for anything to watch. It was a sad, sad day when I caught him watching VIDEO GAMERS drafting their fantasy teams. Our society has sunk to a new low.

**We had a lovely Easter holiday. The bunny managed to Amazon Prime some mediocre trinkets for the children, and even dropped off a couple of things for John and me. We plan to try them out during happy hour and will be sure to document the progress for next week’s update. Stay tuned!!

•