Weird

Adolescent girls are really weird. My middle is 10 (going on 30) and sometimes I wonder if the beginnings of hormonal fluctuations have started to eat away at her brain. She’s always been a bit of a goofball, and her imagination is big. As a little girl, she used to have conversations with Shaggy and Scooby Doo that would keep me in stitches, one time telling me that Shaggy was really “pushing her buttons.” But, some of the musings inside her brain lately have me wondering if John dropped her on her head and was too afraid to tell me. I also am frantically researching what I can do to minimize this behavior with MJ.

Here is one of our recent conversations:

Reese: “Mom, I don’t know why but I love the way I say the word ‘chicken’.”

Me: “Huh?”

Reese: “Yeah, it just sounds so cool.”

I couldn’t even respond further. So, I smiled and said “That’s funny” which is a phrase I find myself saying a lot. What I really wanted to say though was “What is wrong with you? Are you feeling ok? Do you have numbness on one side of your body?”

A few days later, this exchange happened in the kitchen:

Reese: “Mom, I’ve decided to change the way I eat Funyuns.”

Me: *crickets*

Inside my head: “Did someone on the bus give you some ‘candy’ and now you’re hallucinating?”

At this point you may think that I am overreacting and that these conversations aren’t that bizarre. Let me just tell you that Reese also strongly believes that in her “before life” she was a clam. Yes, a bivalve that’s best on linguine with white sauce. But, not only was she a clam…she was someone’s PET CLAM. Perhaps an emotional support clam? WTF?

Maybe I’ve blocked it from my memory, but I don’t remember thinking weird things like this when I was her age. And if I did, I am certain they did not come out of my mouth. If my family or childhood friends tell you otherwise….well, they’re lying. Also, why is it that my son doesn’t exhibit the same puzzling behavior? Maybe he just has a “filter” that she doesn’t have?

What’s even funnier is to listen to the conversations that occur when several of these 9-12 year old girls get together. It’s like they have a secret language all their own. If I have a group of them in the car, whole minutes can go by without me understanding a single word. I try and minimize John’s exposure to these situations, as his crabby old man self sees no humor in it. And listen, I knew this man when he was a weird adolescent boy. He should check his judgment at the door. Just saying.

Now that I’ve poked a little fun at dear, lovely Reese let me say a few things about the little lady. She is the sweetest, kindest, most easy going of my kids. Also, she is hands down the easiest to parent to this point (I know, I know….it’s coming). All you have to do is watch her with her MANY friends to see how awesome she is to be around. Each new school year or new situation that she’s presented with, she makes a gaggle of new friends with ease. She literally has at least 5 BFFs. Just look at a few of these things her friends have given her lately.

And just to show that all of this admiration hasn’t gone to her head….a message that she wrote for herself in her room.

This is the top definition for “weird” in the Urban Dictionary:

Someone who isn’t afraid to be herself. A person who likes to be humorous and make people laugh. People who like to have a good time. Sometimes weird people are the BEST kinda people.

You go girl. Be your awesome weird self.